I can really only hold it together when he’s looking. As soon as he looks away or stops listening, the feelings surge and tears abound. I won’t tell him, he doesn’t need that.
I’ve cried more in the past two weeks than I care to mention, and it hasn’t made me feel any better. I don’t know what to do. I know this isn’t going to go anywhere and that’s okay, but I don’t want him to leave. It doesn’t matter that we won’t be together like that, I just don’t know how much longer I can keep it together in front of him. I’m going to slip up, I can feel it.
I hope everything will be okay when that happens.